Maximillian's Birth Story
After our hospital appointment on the 21st and being told that they wouldn’t induce me until 29th I was feeling a bit desperate to get things moving. Despite all my jokes about this being a March baby I didn’t really want it to happen.
So while Stefan and Evelina did some chores I decided to give some old wives tales a try, so I had a few cups of raspberry leaf tea (luckily I like it) had a good bounce on my birth ball to try and get baby into the right position and then the only thing I hadn’t yet tried, I ate some pineapple. Now when I say some it’s a bit of an understatement, I ate so much that it was painful, my mouth was stinging so badly I physically couldn’t eat any more!
We had a nice evening with Stefan and Evelina, when they left I told them to get an early night because you never know it may be the last one they get for a while (I’d been telling them that for at least a week). Eve and I went to bed and I wasn’t feeling like anything was about to happen. I had had niggles every night for weeks but tonight nothing.
At 1am I got up to use the toilet, nothing unusual in that but when I needed to go again 20 minutes later I thought that maybe something might be starting to happen. I headed back to bed expecting contractions to wake me before morning, but to my huge surprise as I got back into bed there was a sudden gush of fluid. After a seconds hesitation I realised my waters had broken so I got out of bed. As I stood up there was another big gush onto the floor so I sat; when I stood again there was more.
Steve was downstairs having a cigarette at the time so I called him and he brought me my mobile.
I called Stef; he was obviously very excited and concerned. I told him that as I wasn’t having contractions there was no hurry but I was going to call the hospital and would ring him back. The call to delivery suite went as I expected, once they had made sure here was no blood or pain they told me to try to get some sleep and if nothing had happened to make my way to the hospital for 8am to get checked over.
I passed this news onto Stef and Eve and told them to try and get some sleep (they hadn’t slept the night before either); I was going back to bed.
Of course this was a complete lie; I couldn’t go back to bed, for one my waters were leaking too badly to try and get any sleep and I was far too excited! So instead I made sure my hospital bag had everything I needed in it, made some sandwiches and packed a cool bag with sandwiches, fruit and lots of water.
I decided it would be a good idea to send my aunt an email – she had been very concerned that the baby would be born on the 29th and only have a birthday every 4 years. This defiantly wasn’t going to be a March baby!
By 3am I was having a few little niggles, nothing regular or painful but I was still losing lots of fluid.
At 6am we sent Stef and Eve a text asking them to come up to ours if they wanted; they hadn’t slept either.
Mum arrived a 6.45am moments before Stef and Eve. Their faces told a tale of worry, excitement and anticipation. They had no idea what the day would hold.
We left for the hospital around 7.20am and Finn woke up just as we were leaving so I was able to explain to him what was happening, not that he was interested, all he wanted was his breakfast.
We arrived at the hospital just before 8am and were shown into a lovely room in the birthing suite which was a bit bigger than the normal delivery rooms. It was already equipped with 3 chairs so I think it was ready for us.
After a short wait our midwife arrived, her name was Kathryn and she was really nice, friendly, very interested in surrogacy and from the go she treated Stef and Eve like the parents and included them in all the discussions. I was hooked up to a monitor for 20 minutes or so and had my blood pressure etc checked. Everything was fine with me and baby; I was getting a few mild but regular contractions. Kathryn didn’t think I needed to be in the hospital just yet and said as I seemed sensible did I want to go home. I didn’t have to, but as I wouldn’t have come to the hospital yet if my waters hadn’t broken we decided to go home and have a good breakfast. We were given an appointment for induction the next day just in case things tailed off.
So Steve and I headed straight home while Stef and Eve went shopping for breakfast supplies. By the time Stef and Eve arrived my contractions were happening every 5 minutes and starting to get uncomfortable. Stef cooked a lovely breakfast, we had a nice cuppa and Steve cleaned up. I had been sat on the pc chair as my fluid loss was less when I sat and I could kind of wheel myself around the table without having to stand.
When I stood up to wash up our cups the contractions instantly became more frequent so we started timing them again - 11.13, 11.15, 11.17, 11.19... I decided pretty quickly that it would be a good idea to go back to the hospital. Steve called them to let them know we were on our way back and we got on the way. The roads were a bit busier by this time and I did curse a few drivers and red lights that slowed our progress.
On arrival at the hospital I was pleased to see we had the same room and the same midwife. By this point I had to concentrate through the contractions so conversation was very stop-start. Kathryn was aware I wanted monitoring to be kept to a minimum and she really took this on board, she was checking me and the baby regularly without interfering with my labour at all. And as I was coping well she didn’t see the need to do an internal examination. I never realised you could actually give birth without an internal!!
I spent some time in a chair before moving onto the birthing ball. I used the end of the bed for support during contractions until they got more painful then Steve supported me. Stef and Eve were sat in the chairs I guess feeling pretty useless but I didn’t really care how they were feeling or what they were doing.
After a while I felt the need to move and went back to the chair, I was still fully clothed at this point but Kathryn said she was sure I’d want to take my jeans off before baby was born which was reassuring!
At one point I came over really hot and very nauseous. Steve grabbed me a bowl and Evelina fanned me to cool me down. Luckily I wasn’t sick as another contraction hit and I just dropped the bowl and grabbed Steve. Shortly after that I did start feeling as though I shouldn’t be still sat there in my jeans so Steve and Kathryn helped me take them off. I was still managing to cope well, breathing through the contractions; Stef and Eve could see what I meant when I told them I just go into myself and get through each contraction one at a time. In-between contractions I was still managing to chat and laugh. There was a lovely relaxed atmosphere in the room.
By about 2pm I was feeling uncomfortable in the chair. I didn’t want the ball and I was hurting too much to stand up so I decided to get on the bed. At first I tried to kneel but it wasn’t working so I sat on the bed with the back upright. Contractions were getting stronger and tougher to get through now and I could tell I was going through transition, I did ask why the hell I thought this would be a good idea.
During some contractions I thought I’ll start having gas and air for the next one but then it ended and I had got through it so I didn’t have any. After 3 or 4 contractions like that I did start using gas and air.
I was beginning to feel pressure so I knew it wouldn’t be long until Stef and Eve met their baby but I knew that sitting on my backside was slowing it down. I said “it would be quicker if I changed position” and Kathryn just asked if I was comfortable. I was so I stayed put for a bit. I felt like the contractions were slowing down a bit, I felt totally relaxed between them and could have almost gone to sleep.
My support team were doing a fantastic job. Steve was on my right, letting me squeeze his hand and holding the gas and air. Evelina was on my left giving me sips of water between contractions and Stef was by the head of the bed letting me squeeze his hand. And Kathryn doing what a great midwife does best and encouraging me to keep going.
Stef and Eve were great, they let me do my thing, didn't fuss, panic, apologise and eventually found little roles to play to help me. Hopefully they feel as though they played a part.
I knew I had to move so after another contraction I turned onto my side, everyone moved slightly to accommodate me.
Almost instantly I could feel the baby starting to descend. Kathryn told Stef and Eve they would be able to see their baby’s head soon. With the next contraction I felt the need to push and Kathryn said to just go with it. So when the next contraction hit I pushed and the next thing I heard was Kathryn say “Oh we have a face!” She called for assistance and I thought that this was going to hurt, how the hell does a baby come out face first? A face is a lot bigger than a head.
But I couldn’t panic, it had to be done so I just continued to push through the next contraction and his face was there, one more contraction and his head was born. Not as painful or as difficult as I had feared. It felt like forever before the next contraction came but when it did a few good pushes and some manipulation by Kathryn and an 8lb 8oz baby boy was born!
He was initially very purple and floppy and my heart was in my mouth for a few seconds, but a bit of suction was all that was needed before everyone in the room heard the most wonderful sound ever, the cry of a newborn baby; relief all round.
The room filled with so much emotion it was amazing. The joy on Stefan’s face was something I will never forget, nor will I forget Evelina’s tears of happiness, I had to tell Evelina to go and see her baby because she was busy thanking me. There was plenty of time for that later, right now her baby was here, go see him!! Steve set to work with the camera taking lots of photos, some of which will never see the light of day!
Evelina got to do skin to skin very soon after the birth. Max’s breathing wasn’t quite normal, he was very huffy and they were hoping skin to skin would help regulate it. They kept coming in to check on him. A little while later Max coughed and his breathing went very quiet. I worried for a second that he had stopped breathing but a few seconds later he resumed as normal. It was a huge relief that he was fine. It meant we were still on for our early discharge.
Max couldn't be checked until 6 hours after his birth, which was 8.30pm, he sounded fine but then we found out that 8.30pm was Dr handover time. It would be more like 9-9.30pm, still not too bad. We had a pleasant few hours together, the hospital forgot to feed me and as we were all hungry by that point Stef and Steve went out to get pizza.
We were pretty much left alone, Stef and Eve learning how to be parents; it was great seeing them deal with their first messy nappy and witnessing those first few feeds.
At around 9pm the new midwife said she would chase up the Dr because he should have been here by now, at 10.30pm we were informed that they had been called to a very sick baby on SCBU and would be at least another hour, was this ok. We could have gone home and came back the next day to sit in the hospital for who knows how long to get the
check done but that seemed silly so we waited. Our midwife asked if we were ok and offered to try and make the room a bit more comfortable so we could all get some sleep but we said we’d be ok. It had been a long day but I was still on a high. I made a point of not getting ready to leave until the check had been completed, I just didn’t want to tempt fate and end up having to stay.
The Dr eventually arrived about 11.30pm and did his check, everything was perfect and then we were free to go. The hospital were so great, at any point it would have been so easy for them to say we'll just admit you for the night but they didn’t, they treated us fantastically and went out of their way to make us comfortable. We were walked out by a HCA and she gave me a huge hug as we left, that’s a first and it really took me by surprise.
It was really odd to be driving away from the hospital without a baby but oddly ok. I had just hugged my best friends, congratulated them on the birth of their son and told them to enjoy him. And I had made it all possible.
I have such a huge sense of pride about what I have done and will never regret it for one instant. It was the most amazing birth, I was totally in control from beginning to end. My recovery has been trouble free and quick, I haven’t even been hit sideways emotionally. I have been so lucky to have such a great team with me on this journey. Steve was, as always, amazing. He is my rock and the silent one in all this. Without him it wouldn’t have been possible and that little boy wouldn’t be in the world without him. Stefan and Evelina have been brilliant, caring, supportive and considerate throughout. I know they will have so much fun with Max and I am happy to call them my best friends.
Jane Wilson