Isaac's Birth Story

Our first child was born via straight surrogacy after 10 long years of failed fertility treatment. When she was born we were so happy. The long years of infertility were firmly in the past and we were enjoying life to the full. We hoped to have another child via surrogacy but despite 13 attempts with 2 different surrogate mothers it was not to be. However, a miracle happened and I became pregnant myself, not once but 3 times! Having completed my family I decided to become a surrogate mother.

My due date was 6th November 2004. Unfortunately it was the day of the Surrogacy UK AGM too. I decided to attend as I felt well enough to do so as I had gone overdue with all my other pregnancies. We had a wonderful time and it was good to meet old friends and make new ones.

On the Monday I decided to book an appointment with a reflexologist to see if that could kick start the labour. Last time I was 11 days overdue so expected to be at least a week overdue this time round. I never got round to booking that appointment though and spent the day trying to do all the washing and ironing from the weekend instead.

In the afternoon I felt my back was aching. I did not take much notice of this as this happened every day for a week before I went into labour last time. The backache was still there a couple of hours later and then I felt a rumbling sensation. I thought it must be in my imagination, but every so often I felt it again. Gradually the sensation got a little stronger and more frequent. I had a backache type of labour last time but I could feel definite contractions. This time however, I could not be sure if what I was feeling was contractions.

I phoned Lynne around 10pm to tell her to be prepared just in case. I also phoned Carol (my birth partner) but she was asleep. Carol later pinged me on MSN and then I phoned her to explain what I was feeling and said she despite having 6 children she was never sure either. However, if the feelings were regular it could be labour. I then spent the next couple of hours surfing the net and looking at web-sites that described early signs of labour but I was still not convinced I was in labour!

I went to bed about midnight and spent the whole night wondering if I was in labour or not. Mark told me I was and said that if I didn’t think I was I must be in denial! I spent most of the night getting in and out of bed and going to the toilet. I then checked my Miriam Stoppard pregnancy book. It said the contractions should be 5 minutes apart and that they should last for a minute. They seemed to be getting closer together but the pains did not feel like contractions I’ve had in the past and certainly were not lasting for a minute.

I phoned the hospital around 6.30 am and explained the situation. The midwife said to come in to be examined. I then phoned Lynne and Richard and told them to meet me at the hospital but as I felt there must be hours to go, not to panic and that Lynne could possibly even take Isabelle to school before setting off. She decided to drop Isabelle at a friend’s house at 8am and then set off for the hospital with Richard. I phoned Carol at 6.45 am and asked her if she could take me to the hospital. I was still thinking it might be a false alarm and was worried I was wasting everyone’s time!

Carol arrived about 7.30 am, I kissed the children good-bye one by one and told them I was going to hospital, hopefully to have “auntie Lynne’s baby”. Carol and I left for the hospital at about 7.45 am, finally arriving at 9am. On the way I kept telling Carol when I thought I was having the sweeping, waves of mild pain and it seemed this was happening every 5 minutes.

We arrived at the hospital and were led to a labour room. When the midwife examined me I was 5-6 mm dilated. It was a good thing I had come in after all! The midwife told Carol to phone Lynne to see where she was as she thought it would not be very long before I gave birth! Lynne arrived around 10.15 am and we all settled down in the labour room with the midwife while Richard waited in the café for news. We chatted, and laughed and talked to the midwife all about surrogacy and Surrogacy UK. I then asked for some gas and air. I didn’t feel I needed it as I still just had backache. In fact since arriving at the hospital the mild amount of pain I had experienced had almost gone and my back and bottom just felt a little numb from sitting on the bed and being strapped up to a monitor. The midwife examined me again at around 10.45 am and said I would be giving birth quite soon. By this time I was beginning to feel tired as I had not slept much the night before so I just laid back and enjoyed the gas and air, totally in a world of my own! I can’t remember what time it was exactly but suddenly I was being told to pant and try not to push, baby Zac arrived on a contraction and I hardly had to push. It was painful for a short while at the end but I clung onto the gas and air for dear life and it was all over very quickly.

Lynne was crying with happiness as baby Zac came into the world. The midwife then asked her to cut the cord and she was handed her baby boy. It felt so good to see her joy and reminded me of how I felt when I had been handed Abigail just over 8 years ago. Zac was born on Tuesday, 9th November, at 11.17 am, weighing 8lb 12 oz. I needed some stitches (again) and as soon as I was cleaned up Richard was invited into the labour room to meet his new son. Carol took pictures for us and then I was handed Zac so I could have a picture taken with him.

Richard then got some sandwiches and drinks for us all and we had lunch together. Carol phoned Mark and told him to collect Charlie from playgroup and to collect Abi and Sam from school and bring them to see me and then we would go and visit Lynne, Richard and Zac.

I then had a bath and made my way to my room. Shortly afterwards Mark arrived with our 4 children. They gave me a hug and it was wonderful to see them all again. I kept looking at their faces and feeling so lucky to have them and so happy to know I had helped complete Lynne and Richard’s family by having baby Zac for them. Carol left a little later and we arranged that she would take me home as she had to come back to the hospital later for an appointment with her daughter.

My family and I then went to visit Lynne and Richard with baby Zac. More photos were taken and our children marvelled at baby Zac. He was laid in a crib and looked very happy and content. We then all exchanged presents and I said it was time for us to go and let Lynne and Richard enjoy their new baby. Lynne and Richard said they would visit me later than afternoon so I would not be on my own as Mark was going to take the children back home.

I then went back to my room for a well earned rest and while I was waiting to be discharged I had visits from both Richard and Lynne. Eventually it was time to be discharged and Carol arrived to take me home.

It’s now Sunday 13th November and I am still feeling on cloud 9. I’ve been taking it easy over the last few days and trying to rest as much as I can. I’ve received cards and flowers from friends and family and everyone has said “what a wonderful thing I’ve done”. It’s been a privilege. I never thought I would experience pregnancy, and not only have I been able to experience it for myself, I’ve been able to experience it for someone else too.

Since this birth story was written I have entered into a second surrogacy arrangement for a second couple. We amazingly got pregnant on the first attempt and Janet and John’s baby is due on 2nd January 2006.

If everything goes well, I intend being a surrogate mother for a 3rd and final time. They do say things come in 3s!