Here's my part of Harriet's birth story.

Gareth and I had been driving up and down the A1 for a few days, looking at Liz having very minor contractions! In between we were haunting the local cinema at all odd hours watching the biggest blockbusters we could to take our minds off it all. We had both taken some time off work to be there for the birth and so had far too much time at home. I had prepared every room, the garden and all work so as the arrival of Harriet was the only thing left!

Then at 4.20am Liz rang. "I have more contractions, you had better come." We rushed into the car. Saw a fox just by the car who looked us straight in the faces, spooky! The night before a blackbird had come down the chimney in our bedroom and flew around until we were able to free it.

As we rushed up the A1 at 110 miles per hour, setting off most of the speed cameras, we both had the sinking feeling that it was happening. Kara rang my mobile and said, I think Liz will deliver in the ambulance. Then Lindsay rang from the ambulance and we heard Harriet crying... we were 20 mins away at that time.

Liz said she slept through most of the contractions and so by the time she got to the ambulance, with only a couple of pushes Harriet had delivered onto the trolley! Harriet was born at 5.55am on May 26th. Three days before my birthday and Liz's birthday... a Gemini, fab!

Our impatience was so immense we fumbled and dropped things as we scrambled to put money into the meter in the hospital car park and get to the birth suite.

When we reached the room, Liz and the girls looked normal and there was, oh my god, a crying little bundle... so looking for a hug and love. Liz, was brilliant, she asked that no-one could hold her until I came and so when I picked her up, she melted into my arms and ceased to cry...

Gareth held her once I had had a good old hold and she was so good. She seemed to be happy whoever held her. So we all took turns. Liz right at the end when she was ready.

It was so truly moving, we were all in the same room, there was only one room free, it felt like one room at the inn! And there we all were, in accord, loving and happy. If I loved Liz and the girls before it overflowed at that moment. And it still does.

They all watched me put some clothes on her, my hands were shaking. I had read the books, I knew how to do it. So why did I try to put her all-in-one on from the bottom up? Liz said, "try from top down, Debs". This worked!

We then bathed her, or rather the midwife showed Gareth and I how to. Very nervous about this. Saw Gareth's hands shaking too...

Harriet then had a vit K injection. They asked our permission and we had already talked it over with Liz and knew about it. We said yes and it was a proper little needle, the type I use for my Antiphospholipid syndrome injections. I couldn't look. Harriet did cry loudly, but Gareth and I put our hands on her chest just after and she quietened almost instantly.

Liz was so fantastic. Within a couple of hours, she was up and around having tea in day room and a bit later had toast. Gareth took the girls for breakfast and then I went and had some too. Got a drink for Liz. We had got Liz a chocolate cake for the birth and it was in her freezer! So much for planning!!

At about 10.00am the midwife asked how we felt about going home. I asked if we could stay until about midday just to be sure and indeed we all left around 1.00pm. Gareth took Liz and Stephie and Harriet in his car and I followed in a cab with Lindsay, to Liz's house. Then Gareth and I took Harriet home.

All went well in the day when we got home. But at night, we were feeling well out of our league when she cried, we almost rang several people to ask them to come over! Thinking to ourselves that we should have stayed at the hospital... but we made it through. Problem was, Harriet got a little cold, we have all deduced, from the trolley journey and had a blocked up snuffly nose, she does this snuffling noise which sounds probably more disturbing than it is. Midwife and Health visitor weren't worried at all.

Since Harriet has been home, she sort of automatically stuck to the schedule (at night anyway) that i have read about for the past 9 months in the Contented Little Baby Book. Some people call it the contented little Nazi book! (I have read 4 other books as diligently as this - so sort of have a whole overvie, well technically anyway!!!) But to be honest, it was no effort as she likes her food and because we are bottle feeding her, Gareth and I take it in turns. In the daytime, that's another matter! She definitely sets her own schedule, stays awake when she wants to and sleeps when she is ready. I think it's just as it should be...

Now, as the days go by, I just feel blessed to have Harriet in my life. I know Gareth does. Our families dote on her. My mum was here last Friday and I was so amazed how Harriet just settled into her arms like an familiar story... My twin sister (who is childless) rings every day as does my aunt, to enquire about our little girl. In addition, I feel so privileged to have been able to do this with Liz. She is so special. I still ring her every day. I think our friendship will be lifelong now, I love her and her girls to bits...

I thought the other day about my lost babies in miscarriage. I mourned them again but not in a morbid way this time. I felt able to let their little spirits go off now and move on as I bond with the spirit of Harriet.

I could go on forever, I have already.

End of birth story.

Our first child was born via straight surrogacy after 10 long years of failed fertility treatment. When she was born we were so happy. The long years of infertility were firmly in the past and we were enjoying life to the full. We hoped to have another child via surrogacy but despite 13 attempts with 2 different surrogate mothers it was not to be. However, a miracle happened and I became pregnant myself, not once but 3 times! Having completed my family I decided to become a surrogate mother.

My due date was 6th November 2004. Unfortunately it was the day of the Surrogacy UK AGM too. I decided to attend as I felt well enough to do so as I had gone overdue with all my other pregnancies. We had a wonderful time and it was good to meet old friends and make new ones.

On the Monday I decided to book an appointment with a reflexologist to see if that could kick start the labour. Last time I was 11 days overdue so expected to be at least a week overdue this time round. I never got round to booking that appointment though and spent the day trying to do all the washing and ironing from the weekend instead.

In the afternoon I felt my back was aching. I did not take much notice of this as this happened every day for a week before I went into labour last time. The backache was still there a couple of hours later and then I felt a rumbling sensation. I thought it must be in my imagination, but every so often I felt it again. Gradually the sensation got a little stronger and more frequent. I had a backache type of labour last time but I could feel definite contractions. This time however, I could not be sure if what I was feeling was contractions.

I phoned Lynne around 10pm to tell her to be prepared just in case. I also phoned Carol (my birth partner) but she was asleep. Carol later pinged me on MSN and then I phoned her to explain what I was feeling and said she despite having 6 children she was never sure either. However, if the feelings were regular it could be labour. I then spent the next couple of hours surfing the net and looking at web-sites that described early signs of labour but I was still not convinced I was in labour!

I went to bed about midnight and spent the whole night wondering if I was in labour or not. Mark told me I was and said that if I didn’t think I was I must be in denial! I spent most of the night getting in and out of bed and going to the toilet. I then checked my Miriam Stoppard pregnancy book. It said the contractions should be 5 minutes apart and that they should last for a minute. They seemed to be getting closer together but the pains did not feel like contractions I’ve had in the past and certainly were not lasting for a minute.

I phoned the hospital around 6.30 am and explained the situation. The midwife said to come in to be examined. I then phoned Lynne and Richard and told them to meet me at the hospital but as I felt there must be hours to go, not to panic and that Lynne could possibly even take Isabelle to school before setting off. She decided to drop Isabelle at a friend’s house at 8am and then set off for the hospital with Richard. I phoned Carol at 6.45 am and asked her if she could take me to the hospital. I was still thinking it might be a false alarm and was worried I was wasting everyone’s time!

Carol arrived about 7.30 am, I kissed the children good-bye one by one and told them I was going to hospital, hopefully to have “auntie Lynne’s baby”. Carol and I left for the hospital at about 7.45 am, finally arriving at 9am. On the way I kept telling Carol when I thought I was having the sweeping, waves of mild pain and it seemed this was happening every 5 minutes.

We arrived at the hospital and were led to a labour room. When the midwife examined me I was 5-6 mm dilated. It was a good thing I had come in after all! The midwife told Carol to phone Lynne to see where she was as she thought it would not be very long before I gave birth! Lynne arrived around 10.15 am and we all settled down in the labour room with the midwife while Richard waited in the café for news. We chatted, and laughed and talked to the midwife all about surrogacy and Surrogacy UK. I then asked for some gas and air. I didn’t feel I needed it as I still just had backache. In fact since arriving at the hospital the mild amount of pain I had experienced had almost gone and my back and bottom just felt a little numb from sitting on the bed and being strapped up to a monitor. The midwife examined me again at around 10.45 am and said I would be giving birth quite soon. By this time I was beginning to feel tired as I had not slept much the night before so I just laid back and enjoyed the gas and air, totally in a world of my own! I can’t remember what time it was exactly but suddenly I was being told to pant and try not to push, baby Zac arrived on a contraction and I hardly had to push. It was painful for a short while at the end but I clung onto the gas and air for dear life and it was all over very quickly.

Lynne was crying with happiness as baby Zac came into the world. The midwife then asked her to cut the cord and she was handed her baby boy. It felt so good to see her joy and reminded me of how I felt when I had been handed Abigail just over 8 years ago. Zac was born on Tuesday, 9th November, at 11.17 am, weighing 8lb 12 oz. I needed some stitches (again) and as soon as I was cleaned up Richard was invited into the labour room to meet his new son. Carol took pictures for us and then I was handed Zac so I could have a picture taken with him.

Richard then got some sandwiches and drinks for us all and we had lunch together. Carol phoned Mark and told him to collect Charlie from playgroup and to collect Abi and Sam from school and bring them to see me and then we would go and visit Lynne, Richard and Zac.

I then had a bath and made my way to my room. Shortly afterwards Mark arrived with our 4 children. They gave me a hug and it was wonderful to see them all again. I kept looking at their faces and feeling so lucky to have them and so happy to know I had helped complete Lynne and Richard’s family by having baby Zac for them. Carol left a little later and we arranged that she would take me home as she had to come back to the hospital later for an appointment with her daughter.

My family and I then went to visit Lynne and Richard with baby Zac. More photos were taken and our children marvelled at baby Zac. He was laid in a crib and looked very happy and content. We then all exchanged presents and I said it was time for us to go and let Lynne and Richard enjoy their new baby. Lynne and Richard said they would visit me later than afternoon so I would not be on my own as Mark was going to take the children back home.

I then went back to my room for a well earned rest and while I was waiting to be discharged I had visits from both Richard and Lynne. Eventually it was time to be discharged and Carol arrived to take me home.

It’s now Sunday 13th November and I am still feeling on cloud 9. I’ve been taking it easy over the last few days and trying to rest as much as I can. I’ve received cards and flowers from friends and family and everyone has said “what a wonderful thing I’ve done”. It’s been a privilege. I never thought I would experience pregnancy, and not only have I been able to experience it for myself, I’ve been able to experience it for someone else too.

Since this birth story was written I have entered into a second surrogacy arrangement for a second couple. We amazingly got pregnant on the first attempt and Janet and John’s baby is due on 2nd January 2006.

If everything goes well, I intend being a surrogate mother for a 3rd and final time. They do say things come in 3s!

Well, where do I start...

A few weeks later hubby and I met them and went out for a meal, at that point we were all sure about working together.

A little while after that we his our first stumbling block. The clinic Sarah and Steve were using would not accept me. I was thought of as too much of a risk as I was young, not finished with my own family and had suffered raised blood pressure with my previous pregnancy. Sarah was not sure what to do, she wanted to work with me but was worried for me. After talking for a while I left the decision with them, I assured them I knew what I was doing, I knew the risks but in the end it was up to them - the most important thing was that they got their child. I am very pleased to say that they decided to find another clinic and we went ahead.
The other clinic gave me the go-ahead provided I talked things over with their two psychotherapists and that they thought I was mentally prepared. After two long meetings going over every little detail I was passed (as was my hubby and Sarah and ).
Sarah had her eggs retrieved on December 5th last year and I had 3 wonderful embryos transferred on the 8th. I got my first faint positive only 4 days after transfer but it was so faint that I did not believe it. I got a definite positive 10 days after transfer and it was an amazing feeling. Sarah and Steve did not want to know the results of any home tests so 14 days after transfer we went to the clinic for a blood test. Seeing Sarah's face when the nurse said it was positive was one of the most wonderful moments in my life, I can still picture it now.
I was really sick for the first part of the pregnancy but I still felt wonderful knowing how much the child I was carrying was wanted. I was quite tired too and I do think my son suffered because of that but I think over all he will have gained - I hope he learns that real happiness comes from thinking of others and that some sacrifices are worth making.
Over the pregnancy my couple made me and my whole family feel very special. We got together regularly and talked on the phone often. Sarah in particular was very involved in the pregnancy. She came to every visit, felt kicks and recorded stories for me to play to baby. I was quite prepared that she would feel jealous about the pregnancy but she was just great.
Before trying surrogacy my couple had been through a lot. IVF treatment, miscarriages and a lot of heartbreak. I don't think they could believe that it was going to work out for them this time. They held off telling people they knew until after 20 weeks and then gradually told family and friends. When they had told people they then called me to let me know how delighted everyone was - they always made me feel good about what I was doing.
Towards the end of the pregnancy they became anxious to greet their longed for child. I felt a certain amount of pressure as I knew they wanted their son to spend time with baby before going back to school but everyone accepted that baby would come in his or her own time and there was nothing I could do.
The school holidays came and went and the focus became the safety of the baby. Induction was booked for 10 days after due date but we all hoped things would happen before that on their own - they didn't.
The induction was actually great. I felt calm and in control pretty much all the time. sarah was there for a lot of it and was very calm (she is a nervous person by nature).
When my Sarah and Steve held their baby it was wonderful, that moment was beautiful and I knew every day of sickness, every night of heartburn, every minute of labour was worth it.
Even since the baby was born they have been great. Sarah and I still talk a lot on the phone. I have seen baby twice so far and I am sure I will see them again soon. They even named their son after mine - wow.

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Spurred on by her enthusiasm I started researching on the internet and talking to my family. They knew this was something I had talked about often, but I don't think they realised how determined I was!
I came across a surrogacy organisation and they gave me details of couples looking for a surrogate. I chose one couple and called them, I was extremely nervous but soon we were chatting like old friends…

Our 1st transfer worked and 9 months later they has a son, after 20 years of trying!
I was concerned how I would feel after the birth but it was fantastic, when I handed their baby back to them I felt such pride in myself and what the three of us had achieved.
I tried to settle back in to normal life, but I kept thinking of the family I had helped create and how so many peoples lives had been changed.

A few months later I again contacted the organisation, and was sent more details….I was concerned that I would not be able to find such a great couple again, but I was wrong.
My 2nd couple had suffered 11 miscarriages and had finally been told to give up and accept their childlessness. We met and again I felt we were a perfect match. This time it took 4 attempts but finally their daughter was born, again there was the elation at the birth and the feeling of accomplishment and joy.

Ok, I told myself, enough is enough. I became more involved with the support of other surrogates and giving information online. Through an American website SMO I met a wonderful British lady who had just lost her unborn son in a car crash. We spent hours emailing back and forth, after a few weeks we arranged to meet at a local infertility clinic on their new patient info day.

Within 10 minutes of chatting face to face I was offering to be their surrogate…hang on, wasn't I retired?
Again we were lucky and the 1st transfer worked, this time my children were present at the birth and they were totally awestruck. They have always been supportive, but I think seeing the baby with his mum just seconds after he was born was wonderful for them. My eldest daughter actually said to me
"Mum, I know you always say how special it is, but now I really understand"

I am just starting out on my 4th and final arrangement……my life has been so enriched by surrogacy, I realise I am far stronger than I ever knew, and I CAN make a difference in this world.

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I thought after this surrogacy that would be it for me but 2 years latter I have offered to help my very close friends Andria and Bambos. I have known them for about 4 years and they already have one surrogate child, but would love a sibling.
So we are about to start the journey again and I can’t wait to see the look on their face once I can tell them I am pregnant.
I would like to thank my husband Dermott and my 3 children as without their help and support I could never have accomplished what I have.